The Doctor's Office = A Mom's Personal Hell

My kids had their checkups yesterday at the doctor's office - aka, my own personal hell! My oldest child, like all children aged 1-10, LOATHES going to the dr. You would think that at only 4, he wouldn't quite grasp the concept of complete and utter hatred for something, but let me tell you - he most certainly does! And in turn, I am forced to loathe it even more.

There is no other place where I have such a physical reaction to my discomfort. In response to my son's meltdowns, I start to have one of my own. I break out in hives, start sweating profusely, and forget every single thing I wanted to discuss with the doctor. Layers of clothing start getting ripped off as I ask, "Is it hot in here?" Last time, the nurse had the audacity to look me right in the eyes and say, "No, actually I'm a little chilly." Seriously? Throw a stressed out mommy a bone, lady!

Yesterday, I thought I had this thing well planned out. I made sure the appointment was scheduled for after my 9 month old daughter's nap so she would be as well rested and chipper as possible. We also watched an oldie but goody Barney episode about going to the doctor, and sang loud and proud, "The Doctor is a Friend of Mine!" We even had a very grown up conversation about how we were going to the doctor and exactly what was going to happen when we got there (Ok, so I left out the part about the shot. Sue me!). I also grabbed a bag of cookies as we were heading out because I am not above bribing when the going gets tough.

They were both so great on the way to the doctor. My son was singing his doctor song and kept reiterating what the doctor was going to do. Check ears, check nose, check mouth, check heart. I was feeling better then I had ever felt about our impending visit. We pulled into the office and walked in. He was great, she was great...all was great.  I should have known then that sh#t was about to hit the fan.

The nurse came into the waiting room and called his name. He looked at her, calmly shook his head, said, "No," and made a beeline for the exit. F#ck! I grabbed the 800lb baby carrier (seriously, WHY are those things so heavy!), and intercepted him at the door.  I smiled at the nurse through clenched teeth and began walking him towards the exam rooms - he's now crying as I'm carrying the baby carrier in one hand while dragging him down the hall with the other.  My daughter idolizes her big brother so once she sees his tears, she decides to join in too. Oh boy!

The next hour of my life is essentially a blur - I think I must have blacked out at some point. All I know is that there was screaming, there was kicking...and some doctor tools may have been swiped and hidden to prevent an ear exam.  I walked out of that room a changed woman.  What was I thinking scheduling both kids appointments on the same day, at the same time? Who was I to think I could go into this battle alone, armed with only a bag of cookies? Next time, I will be better prepared.  Next time, I will bring my filled to the brim, Mommy Sippy Cup ;-)!