food failure

Being a mom is the toughest job out there.  There's so many rules.  When I was a kid my mom used to leave us in the car while she ran into the grocery store.  In today's helicopter parenting world you can't run to the mailbox without having someone copy your license plate number - or at least glare at you with judgmental eyes as you retreat to your vehicle - ashamed and labeled as the world's worst mom.  I remember piling into my friend's mom's car at the ripe young age of 5 to go to Kindergarten...no car seats...sometimes no seat belt (don't tell my mom).  Speaking of Kindergarten, I WALKED to Kindergarten.  WALKED.  In the snow, rain, sleet and sometimes uphill both ways ( I have a serious direction problem).  Studies show that we actually live in a much safer world than we did 30 years ago - but I guess when you have the ability to buy an actual leash for your small tot we should be living in a safer world.  Some of these rules of course are better for us...car seats for example.  I supposed bouncing around in the backseat of a Ford station wagon wasn't such a great idea....nor was leaving us the car for more than 2 seconds - especially the time my brother nonchalantly got into the driver seat and moved the car a few feet.  But some things I cannot wrap my big 'ol mama brain around.  Food for example.  Yes, Food. I'm blogging about food. 
     I remember drinking pop from those glass bottles and eating fruit roll-ups like they were going out of style.  I grudgingly admit that I don't know much about the food industry and am certainly no expert.  I have great admiration for people who ONLY eat whole, natural foods.  I can't do it.  Sometimes its chocolate milk and a prepackaged muffin from the gas station for breakfast.  
     Parents today have this idea that if it's in a box or package it's the worst thing your child could ever consume.  This makes play dates stressful for someone like me who doesn't worry so much about the additives in food as much as I worry my 4 year old won't pelt her tiny playmate in the head with a building block.   I went to a play date once where everyone was supposed to bring something to eat. The hostess had a vast array of fruits and veggies (all organic probably) and some kind of organic, sugar-free cookies (bletch). Another mom brought Greek yogurt for everyone to have with the fruit and someone else made flour-less, gluten-free pecan muffins or something - it was hard to tell actually...and so on and so forth.... Wanna know what I brought?  Timbits.  TIMBITS. I may as well had brought the measles.   I gave the usual excuse of "oh my god, the kids were so terrible I didn't have time to bake anything" which actually meant 'oh my god I didn't know this was a healthy play date and I didn't have time to go to the store buy all-natural, organic ingredients, look up a recipe and bake something six times until it becomes something remotely edible."   So when other moms talk about the avocado, blueberry, acacia berry, organic, flour-less, sugar-free, gluten-free diet their child is on I just smile and nod and try to hide the goldfish crackers and apple juice in the diaper bag.  Then I go home and cry about what an inadequate mom I must be for letting my kids drink juice and eat fruit snacks - All while downing chardonnay and  eating chocolate chips right from the bag.
     Sure we eat healthy...well healthy-ish.  We strive for 5 - we drink water.  But sometimes mama wants a diet Pepsi and Doritos.  and sometimes we have chocolate chip pancakes for dinner...3 nights in a week. it happens. don't judge. I'm here to make you feel better about your parenting skills. Mission: Accomplished.

AZ